Re-defining Marriage

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I like defining things. Not long after me and Vince started dating, I thought about the word “love” a lot and what it really meant. We had more or less agreed that saying “I love you” to each other was out of the picture until our relationship had grown into something far more committed. For me, it felt crucially important to put some kind of value or meaning back into the word "love". So my definition was: “To love someone means you are devoted to them by choice, spurred on by tenderness, affection, and passion.” It helped me put perspective on what truly loving Vince would look like.

Well, I now am devoted to Vince by choice, and it was definitely spurred on by tenderness, affection, and passion. :) So that naturally brings us to a new word - marriage. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always heard it defined like this: “Marriage is an institute created by God…” and so on and so forth. Although this is absolutely true, that doesn’t really cut it for me. For some reason whenever I hear the word institute I always think of The Franklin Institute in Philly. (I think I went there on a fieldtrip and it made a big impression on me.) So while I’m not actually “re-defining marriage", I’m simply attempting to make a more personal definition that helps me understand what I am about to do.

When I started working on this, all I could think of was the things that marriage is NOT and how many marriages I see that I fear were built on some of these beliefs.
  1. Marriage is not the means to an end.
  2. Marriage is not a prize to be won.
  3. Marriage is not the ultimate achievement to cross off.
  4. Marriage is not a goal to reach.
  5. Marriage is not the source of happiness and bliss.
  6. Marriage is not the answer to emptiness.
  7. Marriage is not a death sentence.
  8. Marriage is not a nice event. (that’s the wedding)
  9. Marriage is not a reason for existence.
  10. Marriage is not just for reproduction.
  11. Marriage is not just a legal contract.
  12. Marriage is not just a tax deduction.
  13. Marriage is not an escape from reality.
  14. Marriage is not a pain reliever.
  15. Marriage is not a band-aid. 
  16. Marriage is not a problem-solver.
I've been guilty of believing that marriage is going to be a few of these things, too. But my new and improved definition of marriage is... 

      In the big picture, I believe that marriage is an earthly reflection of God and his Beloved. 
      In the smaller picture, I believe that marriage is two people committing to work together towards the same goal for the rest of their lives - a commitment that is characterized by selfless sacrifice, cherishing each other, and complete loyalty.

4 weeks today!


Comments

  1. Carmen E.September 8, 2012 at 3:09 PM

    I always marvel and ask myself, "Where did she learn to write?"

    Love you!
    Carmen

    ReplyDelete
  2. SheilaSeptember 8, 2012 at 8:43 PM

    Well said! It's the best choice you will ever make! Excited for your new journey! Best wishes my friend!

    ReplyDelete

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