Whac-A-Mole

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I recently sat down to partake in some much needed solitude with God. But as I began to sort through my thoughts and start a conversation with Him, I was overwhelmed by the fact that what I was about to offer up to God - my few hours of solitude, my feeble thanks, my silly problems - was such an unworthy offering, that it made me want to stop right there. If I can't give Him the time and attention and praise that He deserves, then why bother. If I can't be consistent with Him, then why should He show up when I finally clear MY schedule for Him. His holiness was glaring in sharp contrast to my pathetic human attempt at connection. I felt small. I felt insignificant. I felt like a failure. And so just like that, I instantly let discouragement settle in and the lie took root that "I was not enough".

A researcher and speaker named Brene Brown (who I recommend) talks about how many of us wake up in the morning and the first thing we think is "I didn't get enough sleep." And then, as we settle into bed at night, we mentally bop ourselves on the head and say "You didn't get enough done today." I for one, can totally identify with this. I am forever expecting something out of myself that I cannot seem to attain. I am forever berating myself for wasting too much time, being too distracted, responding wrongly to people, and falling short of my personal goals. "I am not enough. ...not enough... never enough."

Yes, the lies get exposed and I tell myself that Christ came to be "enough" so that I don't have to be. And I feel better for awhile. However, sometimes life feels like a unusually cruel game of "Whack-a-mole". Just because I successfully nailed one "I-am-not-enough" lie on the head, doesn't mean there won't be more popping back up at a ridiculously fast pace.

Am I the only one that gets sick and tired of swinging the rubber mallet at stupid "not-enough" moles? I get more then a little exhausted trying to stay ahead of the game.

I find comfort in the fact that God hasn't just offered me salvation and new life,  He even offers to take the rubber mallet. And this is truly comforting because my God plays Whac-a-mole better then I can ever hope to.

Comments

  1. UnknownNovember 13, 2013 at 10:12 PM

    Wow so true sista thanks for posting such honesty I can relate to all God asks that we do our very best and He will do the rest if we let Him. He is Always Enough is a great song that encouraged me!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ChocalattaNovember 14, 2013 at 10:13 AM

    i have so many things i'd like to say about this...but mostly, thank you, thank you for posting! makes me miss you and makes me want to grab a cup of coffee and chat with you! love ya gloria!

    ReplyDelete
  3. KendraNovember 14, 2013 at 2:52 PM

    Ah yes. I love this. I needed to hear this. Thanks for sharing, hon!

    ReplyDelete

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