The 5 Year Plan
I have this group of friends and we joke a lot about our “where we see ourselves in 5 years”. It’s a fascinating thing, you know. On one hand, we all know that significant life changes can happen in 5 years – ones can that alter your course permanently. And on the other hand, we know that sometimes nothing changes - at least nothing that feels worth talking about. Naturally, we fear that nothing will change... or we fear that everything will change.... and as good friends do, we occasionally get all bunched up about it together.
In February ‘09, soon after I returned from my stint in Thailand, I sat down and drew up a rather detailed expectation of where I thought I’d be 5 years from then. I tried to be as realistic as possible, marked “read this in 2014” on the front, and then stuck it away in a box somewhere labeled “important papers”.
Maybe this was the product of my casual fascination with time capsules?
Looking back, I think what actually prompted me to write it was the fact that I simply couldn't envision my next 5 years. So much uncertainty. Many of my dreams seemed completely out of reach. I was exhilarated by new found freedoms, but also desperately confused about the decisions I needed to make regarding my future.
At any rate, writing about it and burying it in a box of paperwork must have given me some sense of peace. I forgot about it.
Somehow that paper not only survived 3 moves but resurrected itself exactly two weeks before its due date. I found it one day last month on one of my rare but enthusiastic I’m-going-to-organize-the-whole-house days. The timing was pretty astounding. I still marvel that God took the time to unearth this puny not-so-ancient treasure.
For the most part, I was a pretty decent prophetess. In fact, initially it almost annoyed me how accurate I had been. I guess it dented my pride that my life wasn't as wildly unpredictable as I liked to think it was.
Despite having the major predictions turn out as projected, I was soothed by realizing that the over-all picture I envisioned for myself back then was a completely different one then current reality. Not better or worse - just different.
I mean, really - it is a comfort to know that I can dream and plan and fill time capsules all I want, but that at the end of the day (or in this case - end of the 5 years) God was ultimately the One that was calling the shots and plotting the plots. It wasn't up to me to fulfill my dreams and chase down a wildly satisfying life, no matter how many Huffington Post blogs or stupid Buzzfeed lists have tried to convince me it was.
I like how it says “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly” in Psalm 84. That’s such a mind-blowing promise and I want to believe it. It’s often quite difficult to do that when I don’t see my life the same way God does. So hard when my perceived wants, needs, and expectations don’t line up with what God knows is the "good thing" for me. But its true and I'm sticking to it.
It seems only fitting that I'll have to write up another another one of these time-machine papers since the first one was such a success. One that says "read this in 2019". I have no doubt that God will look on with amusement, but I do appreciate that He lets me play these games anyway.
In February ‘09, soon after I returned from my stint in Thailand, I sat down and drew up a rather detailed expectation of where I thought I’d be 5 years from then. I tried to be as realistic as possible, marked “read this in 2014” on the front, and then stuck it away in a box somewhere labeled “important papers”.
Maybe this was the product of my casual fascination with time capsules?
Looking back, I think what actually prompted me to write it was the fact that I simply couldn't envision my next 5 years. So much uncertainty. Many of my dreams seemed completely out of reach. I was exhilarated by new found freedoms, but also desperately confused about the decisions I needed to make regarding my future.
At any rate, writing about it and burying it in a box of paperwork must have given me some sense of peace. I forgot about it.
Somehow that paper not only survived 3 moves but resurrected itself exactly two weeks before its due date. I found it one day last month on one of my rare but enthusiastic I’m-going-to-organize-the-whole-house days. The timing was pretty astounding. I still marvel that God took the time to unearth this puny not-so-ancient treasure.
For the most part, I was a pretty decent prophetess. In fact, initially it almost annoyed me how accurate I had been. I guess it dented my pride that my life wasn't as wildly unpredictable as I liked to think it was.
Despite having the major predictions turn out as projected, I was soothed by realizing that the over-all picture I envisioned for myself back then was a completely different one then current reality. Not better or worse - just different.
I mean, really - it is a comfort to know that I can dream and plan and fill time capsules all I want, but that at the end of the day (or in this case - end of the 5 years) God was ultimately the One that was calling the shots and plotting the plots. It wasn't up to me to fulfill my dreams and chase down a wildly satisfying life, no matter how many Huffington Post blogs or stupid Buzzfeed lists have tried to convince me it was.
I like how it says “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly” in Psalm 84. That’s such a mind-blowing promise and I want to believe it. It’s often quite difficult to do that when I don’t see my life the same way God does. So hard when my perceived wants, needs, and expectations don’t line up with what God knows is the "good thing" for me. But its true and I'm sticking to it.
It seems only fitting that I'll have to write up another another one of these time-machine papers since the first one was such a success. One that says "read this in 2019". I have no doubt that God will look on with amusement, but I do appreciate that He lets me play these games anyway.
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