Getting it Right

Reflections at Week 39

You, little kiddo, are about to enter into the big scary world. A big scary world where there is a whole lot of pressure to “get things right”. I'm sure that right about now it all looks pretty harmless… your biggest problems being the hiccups and not enough elbow room.

But as you will discover slowly but surely, life is made up of millions of tiny decisions. From the time you are born until the time you die, you will be making them. Lots of them are going to be so tiny you won’t even realize you are making a choice. Other will be huge and in your face, and you will have to intentionally choose a path, a belief, or an action. Bottom line, wherever you go and whatever you do, there will undoubtedly be pressure to get it right when making these millions of tiny and huge decisions.

But to make things even more complicated, “getting it right” looks different to so many people. Success is not black and white. We adults spend a lot of time differing over this issue. So not only will there be the need to MAKE choices, but there will be so many opinions and influences around you as to what choices are good and what aren't.

A current example from your very own mother's life: See, apparently parenting is a BIG deal these days. There are all sorts of decisions your dad and I will have to make…  things like birthing plans and vaccinations and breast feeding and sleep training all within the first few weeks and months, not to mention the decisions about discipline styles, media intake, and education that will follow. And oh… talk about the theories, the sometimes controversy and the always abundant opinions that can surround any of these parenting topics, even the ones that seem pretty harmless on the surface. Some of these topics we roll our eyes at and say what a shame it is that parenting has been made into a unnatural science with its huge lists of do & don’ts, when its actually one of the oldest and most natural God-given skills on the earth. Others, well… they really are just a part of our responsibility as your parents. And we will have to make decisions.

And I admit, this is where apprehension comes in at for me.  I can ask myself a lot of what ifs…

What if you develop nasty earaches and infections because of my ignorance about babies and the environment? What if I forget to plug all the outlets and you stick a hanger in one? What if you grow up fighting obesity and unhealthy habits because I fed you too many Lucky Charms and not enough organic spinach? What if you become a lazy unmotivated teenager without a good work ethic because we allowed you watch too many movies? Or, what if we control your environment TOO much that you become restless and rebellious at the control? What if you grow up resenting us because we didn't balance our other responsibilities well with parenting? What if we don’t talk enough about sexuality and then you make bad decisions later down the road with your girlfriend? Most serious of all, what if I pass along my flaws and my spiritual weaknesses to you…. or worse yet - an inaccurate view of God?

It all boils down to “so yea, WHAT IF I don’t get it right?”

Good news, though, baby. I have repeatedly had to recognize a simple critical truth throughout my pregnancy. I will not always get it right as your mother.  (Yes, this is good news.)

And I recognize another truth….neither will you, as my son. You will make mistakes and you will experience consequences for bad choices. And as a result, you will experience the confusing not-so-fun emotions like guilt, and shame, and fear of what other people think, and possibly rejection.

But there is a beautiful and comforting TRUTH that rules over all the other truths that I have learned in my 28 years and I want more than anything to pass it on to you. It is simply that there is Someone who has always “gotten it right” and continues doing so.

It’s the beauty in the middle of this whole crazy world of pressure and choices. It’s a Father doesn't require perfection, He only requires open, humble, and honest hearts, broken before Him admitting their weakness.

It’s a Father who continually asks that we not allow this world to define who we are and what success is, but that we allow HIM to define who we are and what success looks like. He wants us to quit believing that we even have the ability to “get things right”, and rather to just accept that it is only through relationship with Him that anything good can come about in our lives.

So bottom line, I’m going to fail you at times, son. It’s going to happen. Your dad is such a good man, but he will have his failures too, believe it or not. :) And as I said before, eventually you will come face to face with your own failure as well…. and truthfully, it is my prayer that you do. 

Because, baby boy, there is nothing more precious in the world then discovering the One who never fails us, the One who redeems all our failures, and the One who loves us with a love we can’t even wrap our minds around. Even when we make a mess of things and get it all wrong, He has the ability to bring about good.

And that’s why I can sleep well at night. (well, at least as good as you allow me to.) I might make a mess out of being a mom at times, but Father is bigger, and better, and capable of handling all things – including you and your future. I will rest in that.