In the Key of G

Reflections at Week 39 You, little kiddo, are about to enter into the big scary world. A big scary world where there is a whole lot of pressure to “get things right”. I'm sure that right about now it all looks pretty harmless… your biggest problems being the hiccups and not enough elbow room. But as you will discover slowly but surely, life is made up of millions of tiny decisions. From the time you are born until the time you die, you will be making them. Lots of them are going to be so tiny you won’t even realize you are making a choice. Other will be huge and in your face, and you will have to intentionally choose a path, a belief, or an action. Bottom line, wherever you go and whatever you do, there will undoubtedly be pressure to get it right when making these millions of tiny and huge decisions. But to make things even more complicated, “getting it right” looks different to so many people. Success is not black and white. We adults spend a lot of time dif...

Sometimes when I talk to Father, I get into ruts. One of my big ruts last year was a desperate (almost whiny) monologue going something like this…. "Father, I'm so hungry. I'm desperate for you to reveal Yourself to me. I'm stuck. I need MORE. I need something today that takes away  this doubt and this unrest."  I didn't think about it as whining at the time, because I was very sincere. I guess there is such a thing as a "sincerely whiny" prayer, because I seemed to nail it. By the end of the year, my whiny-ness turned into a more blatant and honest frustration with God for this never ending hunger issue that was repeatedly being ignored. I felt everyone else around me was advancing to more intense spirituality, and I was growing stagnant and stuck. When I finally told Father I was sick of asking, that's when things started getting a little clearer. I was obviously missing something key here. And most likely praying wrong. It never came...

I have this group of friends and we joke a lot about our “where we see ourselves in 5 years”. It’s a fascinating thing, you know. On one hand, we all know that significant life changes can happen in 5 years – ones can that alter your course permanently. And on the other hand, we know that sometimes nothing changes - at least nothing that feels worth talking about. Naturally, we fear that nothing will change... or we fear that everything will change.... and as good friends do, we occasionally get all bunched up about it together. In February ‘09, soon after I returned from my stint in Thailand, I sat down and drew up a rather detailed expectation of where I thought I’d be 5 years from then.  I tried to be as realistic as possible, marked “read this in 2014” on the front, and then stuck it away in a box somewhere labeled “important papers”. Maybe this was the product of my casual fascination with time capsules? Looking back, I think what actually prompted me to write it was t...

I wanted a bunny. I think I wanted a bunny ever since I was old enough to know what a bunny is. My mother wasn't terribly fond of pets and apartment living wasn't conducive to that desire either, so finally... finally after moving into our house, the bunny escalated on my "this-dream-is-possible list". Thankfully, I bunny-sat a terribly cute but awfully unfriendly rabbit named Biscuit one week, prior to any purchases. She successfully cured me of my bunny desires. She was sweet, but I would end up fuming every time I had to play "catch the rabbit" as she streaked into places where I couldn't reach her. (And I won't even get started on the pooping habits of a rabbit.) So right then and there I knew that a pet would need to run towards me in order for us to be a match. Vince's sister Jessi generously provided me with such a pet at Christmas. Enter Gyspy = a completely lovable, frizzy ball of kitten. She's been providing much entertainment, a...

"a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."   Ecclesiastes 3:7   My preferred method of self-expression and reflection has always been writing. (And I have journals from 3rd grade on to prove it.)  In fact, I've come to rely heavily on writing as a way to process life - whether its the inevitable big life changes, emotions out of control, or a nagging problem that I can't seem to resolve. In these past two months or so there have been a multitude of things I've wanted to write about. Several difficult and even tragic events happened in the lives of family and friends. I felt deeply as these things unfolded and longed to express the way they were impacting me. There was political drama and newsworthy happenings that captured my attention. I was itching to get my opinions out there, to make my own  responses, rants, and raves. Then there were the usual personal defeats and victories in my own spiritual being that were begging to be acknowledged on paper. ...